For my Intro to Communications class, I wasn't allowed to talk about myself for a whole day. It’s an interesting thing, not being allowed to speak.  Of course, I knew that I could respond to direct questions.  However, I couldn’t talk about myself or volunteer information.  I had to listen—what a concept!  The most interesting part of the whole day was what God ended up saying about me through my non-speech. 
     I began the day rather well as regards to the assignment.  I basically went through breakfast without talking about myself—listening mostly, and asking some questions.  Classes were simple—I merely gave the teacher a note telling him that I wasn’t allowed to speak, bar questions, of course.  They both smiled after reading the note. 
       However, as the day drew later the harder life became.  It wasn’t because I struggled to listen as opposed to talking about myself—though I caught myself failing several times.  The later the day became, the more depressed I became.  Of course, I couldn’t just let this happen.  I had to discover the source of my depression!  First, I had to find out what I was truly feeling.  It seems as if I had a lack of satisfaction, coupled with an identity crisis—or something like that.
     By my self-analysis—and God speaking through my self-analysis—I found that I find my identity as a person through how I think other people view me.  Furthermore, I use talking as a way to control what other people think about me.  Hence, when I’m not allowed to talk, I can’t control how other people view me—and thus my identity is lost, or so it felt. 
    Also, I saw that I seek satisfaction in the interplay of relationships.  However, when I can’t contribute much, I lose that satisfaction.  I seek to find satisfaction in pleasing other people—or, more accurately, in being appreciated by other people.  However, how I can I feel appreciated by others if I don’t talk about myself?  How silly I am!  For when I walk about myself to other people, it isn’t other people who are appreciating me anyway—it is I who am appreciating myself!  Wow, what a crisis I found myself in. 
    So, after I finished listening to God telling me what was behind my depression, I prayed.  It was painful to see that I wasn’t trying to find my satisfaction in God—who isn’t as fickle as friends’ approval.  Furthermore, it’s even more painful to see that I wasn’t finding my identity in how God views me—how I truly am—but seeking to find identity in the flawed view of other people.  Much of my interaction with people has all been in an attempt to control other people’s view of me in order for me to determine my own identity—as opposed to being secure in who God has made me and finding peace in His patient pleasure of me. 
   In the end, I see that refraining from speaking can really say a lot.  It has helped me to be secure in who I am, no matter how I think other’s view me.  It showed me that I don’t need to take center stage all the time.  It showed me that I can listen to a friend’s story without finding the need to one-up his story once he is finished.  I don’t need to talk about myself in order to gain approval.  Sure, I can talk about myself.  Telling other people about yourself and what you have done can be an important part of relationship building.  However, since I know that my identity isn’t caught up in other’s opinions of me, I don’t need to take the floor all the time.  I can listen and care for others, knowing that my identity and satisfaction is secure in God. 

Hey guys!  I just have a short thought for you.  Don't ever be attracted to the idea that it's a wonderful thing to be popular.  It can be, but it can also be oh so empty.  Sure, everyone knows your name.  You can walk around the cafeteria and say "hi" to a hundred different people.  You walk on the sidewalk and you'll almost always see someone you know.  Perhaps you'll talk to them--the old, "how are you?  Fine; how are you?" conversation.  Maybe, if you're really popular, you'll get voted to homecoming court.  And you know what?  At the end of the day, you are as lonely as ever.  And, even worse, you haven't made an impact on anyone.
   Popularity, praise, and attractiveness are all good things.  If you're popular, be thankful.  But, don't be thankful that you are just a popular person--it means nothing!--instead, be thankful because God has opened the door for you to minister to a broad range of people.
   Here's how I see it: be loving, kind, and considerate to everyone you meet.  Take the time to talk to them, remember their names, pray for them.  Be real with people.  People will naturally be attracted to that.  BUT, don't just strive for having a bunch of "friends."  Look for a small group--maybe ten, maybe five, maybe three or two--and really give of yourself to them, encouraging them to do the same.  Strive to have a deep, selfless relationship with a small group of people.  Jesus had hundreds of disciples, but he focused on the Twelve.  Don't be afraid of popularity--but make sure you have a solid friends group that you can really give yourself to.  Don't seek popularity either--it has no inherent value.  Seek true and lasting friendships.  It is in these friendships that you will grow and help others to grow as well.

Hey guys!  So much has happened these last two weeks that it would be impossible to tell you in a blog post.  Instead, I want to share with you one of the most important things that God keeps bringing to my mind these weeks that I've been here at Bryan College: living intentionally. 
   No matter who we are, each and every one of us has influence on those around us.  What we do and what we say--even an encouraging smile or a discouraging frown--everything we do around others has an influence on them.  Furthermore, when boiled down, everything we do is either to the glory of God or the glory of ourselves. 
   The fourth night at Bryan the seniors did something special for the freshmen--they washed their feet.  Wow.  What an image of servant-hood.  It set the stage for my college experience.
   Jesus summed up the ten commandments into two commands--loving God and loving others.  Another way of putting this is serving God and serving others.  Do we really think that way though?  Do we really seek opportunities to wash people's feet (figuratively)?  Do we really take each opportunity captive, looking for ways to glorify God in each situation that we are in?  Serving others instead of serving ourself? 
   Every time you are around people you have the opportunity to influence them for the better--to encourage them, to point their thoughts to God, to help them with a problem, to just talk to them or give them an encouraging hug.  Don't waste the opportunities that you've been given by demanding that others serve you.  Instead, take up the basin and the towel, get on your knees and, in humble service to God, seek to serve those around you.
   Sometimes this means getting out of our comfort zone but if it ends up uplifting someone or drawing them closer to God then it is so worth it!  Whom do you serve?  You serve God!  This isn't meant to be a discouraging post.  We all fail at this but God will always give us other chances.  I hope you are instead encouraged knowing that God has given us the unique task of being with other people, serving them (which is ultimately serving Him), and helping them draw closer to God.  I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter or any stories that you have of others serving you or you serving others that really had an impact.   

Wow, guys.  Can you believe it?  My high school life is over as of 10 am.  In a few hours I will be a student at Bryan College and my life as a child is over.  I will no longer be dependent upon my parents for food and shelter.  I will no longer be in high school.  I will no longer be home schooled.  It's weird to think about.  I don't know if it's sunk in yet.  For the past four years life has followed a certain pattern--a pattern that will no longer be.  I've made good friends and really become a part of the community that I was in.  No more co-ops.  No more youth group.  No more spontaneous frisbee games.  No more movie nights with the gang or game nights.  I'm moving three minutes down the road, but many things are changing.  Thankfully, I can still maintain a level of friendship with those still in Dayton, but I'll be living in a completely different community. Things are about to change.
   It was a good four years. I've loved my time at home, growing closer to my parents and brothers.  I've loved being a part of Westminster Presbyterian Church.  Being served by countless of brothers and sisters.  Serving in Sunday school, VBS, and worship. I've loved being a part of Westminster's youth group.  Seeing youth leaders come and go, get married and have kids.  Growing spiritually as well as relationally.  I've loved the Chattanooga co-op that I was a part of for six years.  I would be a totally different person were it not for STA.  I've loved the home school soccer team.  The piano lessons and competitions and recitals.  Most of all, I loved developing the friendships of the people here.  Being a part of hundreds of activities, frisbee games, and celebrations.  Costume parties and proms.  Camping trips and late-night woodland explorations.  Movie nights and voice recordings.  Four-square and pew beach-volleyball.  Late nights of talking and deep discussions.  The giving and receiving of gifts.  The prayers given and the prayers received.  It's been good.
   Even more, I've loved how God has used all of these things to draw me into a closer relationship with Him.  I remember a time not too long ago when I wasn't living for Him.  I wasn't obeying Him.  I didn't love Him.  However, He pulled me away from my sin and drew me into an amazing relationship with Him.  I've failed countless times, but He used those failures to strengthen my relationship with Him.  He's grown me so much!  And I know I have so far to go, but through these years He's shown me that He'll stick with me through thick and thin.  And, (hallelujah!), He'll help me stick with Him through thick and thin as well. 
   I wouldn't trade these years for anything.  But you know what?  I know it is time to move on.  Things will change.  I will change.  And it is good.  God is putting me in a new place.  I will be just where He wants me.  I know it won't be easy--high school wasn't easy!  But, looking back on His faithfulness through high school, I know that God will make these next four years exactly what they need to be. 
   Change can be hard.  It can be uncomfortable.  But never forget that everything happens for a reason.  Look to the future in anticipation, for whatever God brings at you--whatever change takes place--is the best thing for you.  God is in control and He has a plan.  Never forget that!

P.S.  Though I'm off to college, I plan on continuing to post.  I don't know if my posts will change, or if I will stick with the same direction.  Thanks you, my faithful readers, for sticking with this blog for these past two years!

A major part of any philosophy deals with who we are as individuals.  Existentialism says that your actions define your identity, whereas New Age philosophy basically says that your identity is whatever you perceive it to be.  However, I believe most humans find their identity in something else: other people.  It's a common thing for us to do--especially teenagers.  We view ourself the way other people perceive us.
   How does this mindset affect us?  Firstly, it affects how we act.  We tend to tailor our actions in such a way that others will be pleased.  We try to figure out what other people are thinking about us, and make sure that our actions will help us gain acceptance.  Why do we do this?  Because we see ourselves the way other people see us.  If someone is displeased with us, something must be wrong with us.  We want feel like we are significant, and we tend to find that significance in other people's perceptions of us. 
    Secondly, if we feel like others are displeased with us, we get all bent out of shape.  We get frustrated or sad or angry if someone doesn't like what we did, or if that person doesn't think well of us.  It tears us up because our identity and our significance are found in what that person thinks about us. 
   Does this hit home with you?  It sure hits home with me.  Many times I come home from a social event all bummed out because I felt like someone or some people don't think well of me.  This is so wrong!
   If our identity is actually found in other people's perception of us, then we should try to act in such a way that we will be liked.  We should get bummed out when someone doesn't think well of us.  But our identity isn't found in other people!  Our identity is found in Christ.  What does that mean?  It means that "you have been crucified with Christ and you no longer live, but Christ lives in you. The life you live in the body, you live by faith in the Son of God, who loved you and gave himself for you." (Gal 2:20).  Christ lives in you.  You were crucified with Him and raised with Him.  Because of this, you are now a child of God.  Who gives a flip what other people think about you?!  You are a child of God because of what Christ did for you.  You are now His, and He loves you very, very much.  He is pleased with you.  That should be enough. 
   Many times we are so focused on the temporal.  We focus on what people here on earth think of us.  However, we're told to "set our minds on things above." (Col. 3:2).  We shouldn't be concerned about other people's perception of us.  Instead, we should be focused on how God views us.  God's view of us is so much more important than man's view.  And guess what?  God loves you and He's pleased with you because you are in Christ.  Your identity is directly linked with Christ, not with other people.  You are significant because you are a child of God, not because other people like you. 
   Let's sum up.  It's so hard not to focus on how other people think of us.  However, it is so important to remember that our identity and significance aren't caught up in other people.  It isn't caught up in our actions either.  Our identity is found in being a child of God.  And God is loves His children very, very much.
  

Let me share with you some challenging lyrics from a Kieth Green song called Asleep in the Light. 

"Do you see, do you see
All the people sinking down
Don't you care, don't you care
Are you gonna let them drown

How can you be so numb
Not to care if they come
You close your eyes
And pretend the job's done

"Oh bless me Lord, bless me Lord"
You know it's all I ever hear
No one aches, no one hurts
No one even sheds one tear

But He cries, He weeps, He bleeds
And He cares for your needs
And you just lay back
And keep soaking it in,
Oh, can't you see it's such a sin?

Cause He brings people to your door,
And you turn them away
As you smile and say,
"God bless you, be at peace"
And all heaven just weeps
Cause Jesus came to your door
You've left him out on the streets

Open up open up
And give yourself away
You see the need, you hear the cries
So how can you delay

God's calling and you're the one
But like Jonah you run
He's told you to speak
But you keep holding it in,
Oh can't you see it's such a sin?

The world is sleeping in the dark
That the church just can't fight
Cause it's asleep in the light
How can you be so dead
When you've been so well fed
Jesus rose from the grave
And you, you can't even get out of bed

Oh, Jesus rose from the dead
Come on, get out of your bed

How can you be so numb
Not to care if they come
You close your eyes
And pretend the job's done
You close your eyes
And pretend the job's done

Don't close your eyes
Don't pretend the job's done."

Does that hit home with you?  You know, it's helped me analyze my own life a little.  God has called us to work for Him.  He doesn't just want us to sit around, soaking in His blessings.  He wants us to put His Word into practice.  Where is the evangelism?  Where is the compassion?  Where is the desire to edify believers?  Where is the desire to use our gifts for God's work? 
   "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young." (1 Tim. 4:12).  Though we're young, we're still called to live and work for God's kingdom here on earth.  We've been given a light.  Don't hide it under a bowl.  Go out and illuminate the darkness.  Give comfort to the mourning.  Food to the needy.  Strength to the weak.  Look around you.  You don't have to go very far to see people (Christians and Non-Christians) who are in need.  God will give you opportunities to minister to people.  Don't let them slip away.  Don't be asleep in the light. 

I teach the 5th and 6th grade Sunday School class at my church.  I've had some weeks that are really good.  The kids seem to be attentive and seem to really want to learn.  They seem to understand what I'm saying and desire to apply it to their lives.  This past week was different.  They were bouncing off the walls and didn't pay as much attention as they should have. I only got through about half the lesson and I didn't know how much the lesson had really impacted them.
    This morning I really injured my lower back.  I've had back problems in the past, but they all went away until this morning.  Perhaps they'll go away soon, or the pain may stay for quite a while.  I have soccer season at college starting up in a few weeks, so the timing is not that great.  Both these things could have been very discouraging.  However, I'm reminded of something my dad has talked about.
   There are going to be bad situations in life.  Bad things are going to happen.  We may have the best intentions.  We may really be trying to serve God.  However, bad things still happen.  When they do, don't get discouraged.  Don't get frustrated.  Why?  Because it truly has happened for a reason.  We say we believe in a Sovereign God, but do we really mean it?  Most of the time we get upset or complain when bad things happen, as if what is happening isn't a good thing for us.  To believe that is to believe that Scripture is lying. 
   Everything that happens is for the good.  God has a purpose for everything that happens.  So instead of getting discouraged when bad things happen (someone dies, a family member is sick, life is hard, your friends abandon you, your plans didn't turn out like you wanted) take the time to pray about it and think through what God may be trying to say to you through this. 
   Look at 2 Sam. 16.  David is on the run from Absalom and Shimei begins to curse him.  David, instead of getting discouraged, or desiring to kill him, does this: "But the king said, 'If he is cursing because the LORD said to him, 'Curse David,' who can ask, 'Why do you do this?' "  David then said to Abishai and all his officials, 'Leave him alone; let him curse, for the LORD has told him to.'"  David was in a bad spot.  He was being cursed, and he didn't deserve it.  However, he recognized that this was from God. He didn't get discouraged.  He didn't get violent.  He realized that God was behind the situation.  He realized that he needed to get his eyes off of himself, and focused on what God was doing.  My Dad says that at the time, though David knew he wasn't being cursed because he took Saul's throne (which is what the man who was cursing him said),  David realized that he deserved to be cursed for taking Bathsheeba and killing Uriah.  He realized that God was speaking to him through the bad situation.  He realized that the cursing was for the best, because it reminded David that he always needs the forgiveness of God.  Does that make sense? 
   All in all, remember that life's circumstances are never going to turn out for your ill.  Whatever happens to you is good for you.  Just look at Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."  DON'T GET DISCOURAGED.  Trust God that in His infinite wisdom and "unsearchable judgments" (Rom. 11:33) He is making a seemingly bad situation into one for your benefit.  Amen?

I struggle with sin.  There are some sins that are especially hard for me to fight.  As with all sin, it's pleasing to the eye.  My flesh, my eyes, my pride wants it.  It thinks that it is good and  that I can't live without it.  Part of me wants to sin, but the other part wants to obey.  I'm caught in between this spiritual struggle.  Do you know what I mean?
   Unfortunately, many times I toe the line between sinning and obedience.  I think about sinning.  I imagine what I would do.  Or I fail to keep my mind off of it.  I have a desire to obey God but I also have a desire to sin.  So what do I do this happens?  Most of the time, I try to keep my mind off of it.  However, trying to keep your mind off of sin is like saying, "Don't think about a pink elephant."  Most of the time you'll think about it.  I think we all struggle with this from time to time.
   So here's the thing.  A great way to help you resist temptation to sin is to go to someone (your mom, dad, sibling, or good friend) and tell them that you're struggling with it and ask them to pray for you.  That can be hard.  It's embarrassing to tell someone that you're struggling with sin.  But it's so important.  If you really take obedience seriously, you'll see that it's more important to embarrass yourself in order to obey God.  What is more important, other people thinking that you're perfect, or God being glorified?  Does that make sense?  It can be so hard, but it can be so good to ask for prayer.  Perhaps they'll pray with you on the spot.  Whatever the case, I encourage you to include others in your walk with God.  Sometimes it can be so hard to fight sin on your own.  When it is, ask someone to pray with you and hold you accountable.  It's well worth it.