For my Intro to Communications class, I wasn't allowed to talk about myself for a whole day. It’s an interesting thing, not being allowed to speak.  Of course, I knew that I could respond to direct questions.  However, I couldn’t talk about myself or volunteer information.  I had to listen—what a concept!  The most interesting part of the whole day was what God ended up saying about me through my non-speech. 
     I began the day rather well as regards to the assignment.  I basically went through breakfast without talking about myself—listening mostly, and asking some questions.  Classes were simple—I merely gave the teacher a note telling him that I wasn’t allowed to speak, bar questions, of course.  They both smiled after reading the note. 
       However, as the day drew later the harder life became.  It wasn’t because I struggled to listen as opposed to talking about myself—though I caught myself failing several times.  The later the day became, the more depressed I became.  Of course, I couldn’t just let this happen.  I had to discover the source of my depression!  First, I had to find out what I was truly feeling.  It seems as if I had a lack of satisfaction, coupled with an identity crisis—or something like that.
     By my self-analysis—and God speaking through my self-analysis—I found that I find my identity as a person through how I think other people view me.  Furthermore, I use talking as a way to control what other people think about me.  Hence, when I’m not allowed to talk, I can’t control how other people view me—and thus my identity is lost, or so it felt. 
    Also, I saw that I seek satisfaction in the interplay of relationships.  However, when I can’t contribute much, I lose that satisfaction.  I seek to find satisfaction in pleasing other people—or, more accurately, in being appreciated by other people.  However, how I can I feel appreciated by others if I don’t talk about myself?  How silly I am!  For when I walk about myself to other people, it isn’t other people who are appreciating me anyway—it is I who am appreciating myself!  Wow, what a crisis I found myself in. 
    So, after I finished listening to God telling me what was behind my depression, I prayed.  It was painful to see that I wasn’t trying to find my satisfaction in God—who isn’t as fickle as friends’ approval.  Furthermore, it’s even more painful to see that I wasn’t finding my identity in how God views me—how I truly am—but seeking to find identity in the flawed view of other people.  Much of my interaction with people has all been in an attempt to control other people’s view of me in order for me to determine my own identity—as opposed to being secure in who God has made me and finding peace in His patient pleasure of me. 
   In the end, I see that refraining from speaking can really say a lot.  It has helped me to be secure in who I am, no matter how I think other’s view me.  It showed me that I don’t need to take center stage all the time.  It showed me that I can listen to a friend’s story without finding the need to one-up his story once he is finished.  I don’t need to talk about myself in order to gain approval.  Sure, I can talk about myself.  Telling other people about yourself and what you have done can be an important part of relationship building.  However, since I know that my identity isn’t caught up in other’s opinions of me, I don’t need to take the floor all the time.  I can listen and care for others, knowing that my identity and satisfaction is secure in God. 

Hey guys!  I just have a short thought for you.  Don't ever be attracted to the idea that it's a wonderful thing to be popular.  It can be, but it can also be oh so empty.  Sure, everyone knows your name.  You can walk around the cafeteria and say "hi" to a hundred different people.  You walk on the sidewalk and you'll almost always see someone you know.  Perhaps you'll talk to them--the old, "how are you?  Fine; how are you?" conversation.  Maybe, if you're really popular, you'll get voted to homecoming court.  And you know what?  At the end of the day, you are as lonely as ever.  And, even worse, you haven't made an impact on anyone.
   Popularity, praise, and attractiveness are all good things.  If you're popular, be thankful.  But, don't be thankful that you are just a popular person--it means nothing!--instead, be thankful because God has opened the door for you to minister to a broad range of people.
   Here's how I see it: be loving, kind, and considerate to everyone you meet.  Take the time to talk to them, remember their names, pray for them.  Be real with people.  People will naturally be attracted to that.  BUT, don't just strive for having a bunch of "friends."  Look for a small group--maybe ten, maybe five, maybe three or two--and really give of yourself to them, encouraging them to do the same.  Strive to have a deep, selfless relationship with a small group of people.  Jesus had hundreds of disciples, but he focused on the Twelve.  Don't be afraid of popularity--but make sure you have a solid friends group that you can really give yourself to.  Don't seek popularity either--it has no inherent value.  Seek true and lasting friendships.  It is in these friendships that you will grow and help others to grow as well.

Hey guys!  So much has happened these last two weeks that it would be impossible to tell you in a blog post.  Instead, I want to share with you one of the most important things that God keeps bringing to my mind these weeks that I've been here at Bryan College: living intentionally. 
   No matter who we are, each and every one of us has influence on those around us.  What we do and what we say--even an encouraging smile or a discouraging frown--everything we do around others has an influence on them.  Furthermore, when boiled down, everything we do is either to the glory of God or the glory of ourselves. 
   The fourth night at Bryan the seniors did something special for the freshmen--they washed their feet.  Wow.  What an image of servant-hood.  It set the stage for my college experience.
   Jesus summed up the ten commandments into two commands--loving God and loving others.  Another way of putting this is serving God and serving others.  Do we really think that way though?  Do we really seek opportunities to wash people's feet (figuratively)?  Do we really take each opportunity captive, looking for ways to glorify God in each situation that we are in?  Serving others instead of serving ourself? 
   Every time you are around people you have the opportunity to influence them for the better--to encourage them, to point their thoughts to God, to help them with a problem, to just talk to them or give them an encouraging hug.  Don't waste the opportunities that you've been given by demanding that others serve you.  Instead, take up the basin and the towel, get on your knees and, in humble service to God, seek to serve those around you.
   Sometimes this means getting out of our comfort zone but if it ends up uplifting someone or drawing them closer to God then it is so worth it!  Whom do you serve?  You serve God!  This isn't meant to be a discouraging post.  We all fail at this but God will always give us other chances.  I hope you are instead encouraged knowing that God has given us the unique task of being with other people, serving them (which is ultimately serving Him), and helping them draw closer to God.  I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter or any stories that you have of others serving you or you serving others that really had an impact.