Time is Moving Forward, and God is Moving Me

Wow, I haven't written in a while.  Hopefully I will be writing more frequently this summer.  Starting right now!  I went to a Youth Conference in Greenville, South Carolina this past week and I want to share some of what happened that week.  It was so amazing what God did.  I came to the conference not expecting a whole lot and not as exciting as I have in previous time.  Why?  Well, because I heard that many people I had met weren't going to be there, and my favorite speaker wasn't going to be speaking.  But, I was still looking forward to it.  I don't think I had a whole lot of goals for the conference.  I wanted to learn and grow closer to God, I wanted to have fun, and I wanted to have a great time with people.  Well, God kind of helped me to focus on the teaching and worship more than anything else.  I still enjoyed the people and sports, but I found that my focus started to be on what I was learning and just growing closer to God.  He taught me so much and really helped me to put my focus on Him.  I remember going out of sessions and things and not really wanting to be with people as much.  It was like He was wanting me to find that joy in Him.  Let me explain to you two things from the conference that really has helped me in my walk with Him.

1. Making Him my satisfaction, sufficiency, and security.  One of the talks was about this.  I need to see God as sufficient for my life...I don't need anything else to make me happy or make my life better.  God is the one who satisfies, nothing else can.  And, God is the one who protects.  These things may seem like pretty basic truths, or maybe they don't, but it hit me hard.  I have been looking to other things to satisfy me, not realizing it.. I haven't realized that God is really sufficient for me.  I've looked to people and entertainment and other things to satisfy me, with God on the side.  I mean, I've been seeking God and praying that He would draw me closer to Him, but I really haven't viewed Him as everything to me.  I haven't viewed Him as the ultimate joy giver.  He  hasn't been the person I would most want to be with.  One of the speakers said for us to think about spending a whole day with the Lord.  It's pretty hard to picture that isn't it...just a day praying to Him.  He said it's easy for us to see ourselves spending the day with a boyfriend or girlfriend, because we like them.  But, it's hard for us to picture spending a day with God.  He said that we will begin to enjoy being with God more and more once we grow in LOVE for Him. Not to say that if there are times when it is hard to talk to Him, we don't love Him, but that usually we will enjoy spending time with those we love.  He also talked about the idea of praying as an act of worship.  These two things were really good for me to hear.  I pray a lot, but it's because I know I need to, and it usually isn't real enjoyable.  In the morning I wake up and have a time of reading the Bible and praying.  Then I mentally check it off a list.  Though I pray throughout the day, it usually is short and not focused on God, but rather on something else.  I don't pray because I want to worship God.  I don't randomly take time out of my day to just talk to Him and praise Him or something.  I just don't do that.  So, I've been trying to really put God where He belongs--first in my life.  I've been trying to make my prayers and act of worship.  He is so much more worthy of my time than anything else.  And, God has helped me to enjoy talking to Him, too.      

2. Not holding on to anything.  We looked at the passage that talks about the man who said that he would follow Jesus, but first wanted to bury his father.  The speaker talked about how though there was nothing wrong with wanting to bury his father, the rules change when we come into the service of God, and He gets to call the shots.  We can't be holding on to anything and try to serve Him to.  This hit me because I realize that there are things that hold me back from giving my all to God.  Two in particular. 1. my reputation 2. my time.  These are probably on the list of many.  So many times I look at myself from the outside and worry about what others think, or try to impress others, or just do things because I know people are seeing me do it.  I think so much to my self, "did that person see what I did?  Did they like it?  I wonder what they are thinking about me?"  My thoughts always go to myself.  It's something that I've noticed has been a problem for a while, but God now put that problem into a better perspective.  I now see the problem through the lens of someone who can't be holding on to anything if I am going to be in Christ's service.  I've got to let my reputation go and not put emphasis on the opinions of others.  Besides, what really does it matter if someone was impressed with me or likes me.  It carries no real weight, does it?  Also, my time is sometimes hard to give up for God.  I feel many times the feeling that I should pray at the moment, but I don't want to give up my time to do that.  This is something I'm trying to do now, especially now that I see prayer as an act of worship. 

I hope I'm making sense about all of this.  Anyway, so those were some things that God really taught me this conference.  I've felt much closer to Him and more focussed in my relationship with Him, striving to fulfill the purpose He made me for...to glorify Him and to enjoy Him forever.  He is the one that I should strive to glorify (not myself).  He is the one that I should find joy and fulfillment in (not in other things).  And I know that once He is my satisfaction,  I will start to enjoy these earthly gifts so much more!  I hope you are having a good day and I pray that God will help you more and more to love Him and live to give Him glory.  I hope to talk again soon!