I've got the flu.  I'm getting over a fever and chills and seem to have traded them for a little nausea and dizziness (along with cough and congestion).  And, my emotions seem to be going too.  Well, not really, but I've found its hard to keep up a good relationship with God when my physical faculties are being barraged from every side.  But, it's not all that depressing, really!  Actually, God has given me some needed joy and peace right now.  Joy and peace, now those are some good friends of mine.  I used to struggle (and still do, though not as much) with being depressed and full of anxiety.  Mainly spiritual anxiety.  It was bad.  I would be anxious about my relationship with God and what His will was for me, etc...Have I told some of this to you before?  Well, something interesting that i had been forgetting is that joy and peace (two things that I long for and pray for when I don't have) aren't just gifts that God gives us.  They are, but I realized that they are the some of the Fruits of the Spirit.  Love, JOY, PEACE, patience, etc...  These two things are an indication (fruits) of the Holy Spirit's work in me.  This is such a great comfort to me, and I hope it is to all of you who struggle as I struggle.  Joy and Peace are things that God really wants us to have.  They are things that come from just being His children.   I knew that Scripture talks about rejoicing always and talks about the peace that God gives us, but it took a long while to sink in. 
   So, some interesting things that I now do when I'm not joyful and at peace.  Well, I pray about it.  If joy and peace are a manifestation of the Holy Spirit's work in me, then there are basically two options.  Either this anxiety and depression and un-peacefulness (which usually means that I feel far from God) are either because I have unconfessed sin/are in unrepentant sin (which hinders the work of the Spirit) or it is from Satan.  This is comforting believe it or not.  Because, God will give it to us if we ask.  So, when I feel this weight on my shoulders that I'm sure you have experienced, I pray to God.  I ask Him to show me if I need to confess any sin.  And if I'm not in unrepentant sin, that He would give me back this joy and peace.  I know it might sound wishy-washy (and maybe you disagree, which is fine), but God will give us peace and joy...they are manifestations of His work.  So, take cheer, you who are heavy laden, and God will give you rest.  

This post will be a little different from most of my posts.  There won't be any application to your life--I'll leave that up to you.  I haven't posted in a while, partly because I was kind of going through a little Spiritual dry spell.  So, here, let me tell you how my life is right now, and the things that led up to it.
   Well, right now I'm eating chocolate ice cream, enjoying every second of this great life that God has given me, full of joy and full of peace.  Last week, wasn't like this, though.  Last Sunday (the first of February), I was talking to a friend of mine.  She was telling me about how her life is and how her walk with God is and how she more and more has been wanting to hear God's voice.  She was talking about some of her struggles and things, and then she asked me how I was doing.  At that point, I was really at peace, really joyful, and really close to God.  So, I was telling her about how I was at a place of peace, and how this might just be the deep breath before the storm.  Well, I guess I was right.  God decided that it was time to put a little storm in my life.  Nothing fancy, nothing too bad.  He just allowed Satan to affect me.  He withdrew the feeling of His presence and kind of backed away (at least, it seemed that way). 
   For all of last week, I was struggling to really interact with God very well.  I couldn't really feel His presence, and I repeatedly asked Him to draw me nearer and to be able to see Him and be close to Him.  God, in His infinite wisdom, decided to not answer my pleas right away.  My life started to seem all crazy and frustrating.  I kept seeing all these things wrong with me and I just felt a little out of control.  It tested my faith in God, and it showed me something really important.  Through my time of peace, I think I started to not fear God as much as I should have.  Many times I forget how great, powerful, amazing, and glorious God is and how small and insignificant I truly am (though, I know that though I don't deserve it, I am still significant to God).  I kind of put God on the same plane as myself (without knowing it) and just saw God in light of what He could or was doing for me--I wasn't really having the view of being His servant, serving Him, who is so great and powerful...the Creator and Ruler of the Universe.
   So, anyway, my dry spell continued into the weekend when I went on a soccer retreat with my soccer team.  I prayed that God would use this retreat to draw me to Him.  On Sunday morning, our coach got us together and we had a talk about acting like a Christian on the soccer field, and then he asked if we had any prayer requests.  He said that we are a team and we should be here for our teammates on and off the field, so if anyone had anything that the rest of the team could pray for that we should mention it.  Well, I didn't want to mention that I felt far from God, but I decided to anyway and asked that they would pray for my spiritual life.  It just reaffirmed my confidence in the prayer of God's people when while we were praying I started to realize my attitude towards God and how much God still loves me.  I started to feel peace again. 
   Well, God continued to work on me and now I feel like I'm on the right track.  My coach had said something good: He said that God does everything for a reason.  Indeed, God used this short time of feeling apart from Him to draw me closer to Him.  He helped me in some areas, and made me reset my mindset towards Him.  Praise be to God.  So now I'm feeling much better, and I hope this peace and joy will continue.
   Hey, if you are experiencing any sort of spiritual battle or feel apart from God right now, feel free tell me about it and I'll pray for  you.  If you don't feel comfortable putting it here on the website, feel free to email me.  I hope that "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."